Narcissistic abuse affects your behavior, physical, cognitive, and emotional well-being, as well as your social life.
Narcissists attempt to be the center of your life and dominate you. Therefore, your self-care should prioritize making yourself the center of attention in your own life.
Self-care is the biggest form of self-love. Show yourself that you deserve love and respect. Give yourself time.
This is a way of showing that you deserve love. How you treat yourself can significantly improve your self-esteem. Do not depend on others for love or validation. Give it to yourself first.
In this article, we will discuss self-care after narcissistic abuse for improving your overall well-being.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
―
1. Limit your consumption of mainstream news and media.
News related to crime and injustice can be highly triggering. Skim through the news by reading only the headlines. Avoid delving into the details of such news.
It’s worth noting that much of this news often involves individuals with narcissistic tendencies who wield significant influence in the world.
If possible, consider shifting your focus to economic news or reports directly impacting factors like GDP and your daily life. Be discerning about the sources you choose for your daily news, ensuring they are reputable and trustworthy.
2. Purge your social media.
Go through your list of followers and unfollow those you no longer resonate with. Block all narcissists and their enablers.
Avoid following people with sexist, racist, classist, or transphobic views—essentially, those who lack empathy.
Be cautious of toxic positivity. Individuals who have never experienced narcissistic relationships may not understand what you’re going through.
To read more about how to be safe on social media from narcissists, click here.
3. Seek Therapy/Healing programs specifically for narcissistic abuse.
If you have just discovered narcissism and its impact on your life, the next step is seeking help and trying to heal through therapy, healing programs, journaling, or joining support groups.
Your mental and emotional well-being must be in good shape for you to gain clarity about what you want your life to be.
If you’ve been surrounded by narcissists all your life, you may have never had the opportunity to understand yourself, your likes, and your dislikes. So, give yourself a year to heal.
Try to practice self-compassion. Be patient and try not to worry too much about the future at this point.
Focus on your mental health and healing. Be kind to yourself, and don’t hesitate to ask for help from empathetic individuals around you.
4. Try Guided Meditations.
Meditation can aid in enhancing neuroplasticity and cognitive functions. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s capacity to adapt and create new pathways and connections in adulthood.
This adaptability of the brain, allowing it to change and develop in response to experiences, empowers individuals to rebound from setbacks and adversity, demonstrating resilience by bending without breaking.
Jessica Cassity discusses mindfulness meditation and its impact on neuroplasticity:
“With meditation, your brain is effectively being rewired: As your feelings and thoughts morph toward a more pleasant outlook your brain is also transforming, making this way of thought more of a default… The more your brain changes from meditation, the more you react to everyday life with that same sense of calm, compassion, and awareness.”
You can explore further information about neuroplasticity through the following links:
https://www.happify.com/hd/the-power-of-mindfulness/
http://iancleary.com/neuroplasticity-and-anxiety/
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/thai-nguyen/10-proven-ways-to-grow-yo_b_10374730.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFbm3jL7CDI
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heal-your-brain/201107/neuroplasticity-and-depression
5. Create a vision board.
Being goal-oriented and driven will give you a sense of purpose and, in turn, can boost your self-esteem.
It can be an indicator of what you are capable of and why you wake up in the morning.
Put up images of what you want to achieve in a year, either on paper or online. Break them down into smaller goals and try to accomplish a small goal every day.
Achieving these small goals can boost your self-esteem every single day.
You can read our article here to know more about how to create a vision board.
Resources on how to create vision boards can be found below:
https://artfulparent.com/make-vision-board-works-10-steps/
https://jackcanfield.com/blog/vision-board/
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-make-a-vision-board
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=592nFPbw49I
6. Set Clear Boundaries.
Do not invite Narcissists to your events/celebrations. If necessary, inform them and tell them you are keeping it low-key.
Tell them you are busy or not at home if these people want to visit you. If they drop by unannounced, ask them to call or message you before coming over. If they do not respect that, don’t open the door the next time. You can say you were in the shower or sleeping and did not hear the doorbell.
Don’t entertain their phone calls/texts. Do not attend to their calls/texts immediately. If needed, call them/reply when you have enough energy to tolerate their nonsense.
Block them on all social media.
Do not lend/borrow money to/from narcissists.
Remember, narcissists may not always respond positively to boundaries, and they may test your resolve. Stay firm, reinforce your boundaries consistently, and prioritize your emotional well-being throughout the process.
Setting boundaries is a powerful act of self-respect and self-care.
You can read about Dealing with Narcissistic Relatives here.
7. Journaling for Self-Care after Narcissistic Abuse
If you’re struggling to stop rumination, try to approach the particular incident or situation from multiple angles. Journaling can be a helpful tool for this, even though it may not be a pleasant experience.
Sometimes, delving deep into feelings of shame or guilt can provide you with a new perspective.
On your self-care day, you can journal about more pleasant topics, such as your achievements and positive traits. You can use journal prompts specifically for narcissistic abuse survivors.
Journaling is a great tool to make your feelings a reality. Once you write down your feelings, it becomes real; it is no longer a thought that passed through your head. It is especially important if you are recovering from years of gaslighting.
8. Start moving your body.
You don’t have to start with hardcore workouts. You can start by walking for 10 minutes every day or engaging in a quick 10-minute workout. Slowly you can increase the time of your workouts.
Besides improving your physical health, these activities can boost your mood, reduce anxiety and stress, and benefit your brain, particularly in terms of neuroplasticity.
9. Nutrition for Self-Care after Narcissistic Abuse
What you put inside your body affects your mood and energy levels too. Try to change one small thing at a time. Follow that small change until it becomes a habit and then incorporate another change.
Don’t try to change your entire lifestyle in one day. If you eat 2 servings of dessert every day, try to reduce it to 1. Practice that until it becomes a habit. Then incorporate a new change.
Try to take care of your daily macros and hydration.
Get basic healthcare evaluation done. Get at least one health checkup per year. Remember, health is wealth.
10. Healthy Sleep Habits
Narcissistic abuse survivors often struggle with falling asleep, primarily due to rumination.
Bedtime is when all the negative emotions rush in simultaneously – guilt, shame, your mistakes, all the gaslighting, and name-calling.
To stop ruminating, plan your activities for the next day. Read a good book or develop a new creative habit, like knitting, stitching, painting, or drawing—activities that don’t involve electronic devices. Consider playing board games after dinner.
For more information on how to stop rumination, you can click here.
-
- Try to avoid consuming news before bedtime.
- Create a bedtime ritual that includes activities such as showering, brushing your teeth, skincare, meditation, and reading a book.
- It’s also advisable to stop using electronic devices at least an hour before going to bed.
- Try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule and aim for at least 7-8 hours of sleep.
Try to incorporate good sleep hygiene practices into your life.
For more
http://www.sleepeducation.org/essentials-in-sleep/healthy-sleep-habits
11. Personal Hygiene
The mental health challenges resulting from narcissistic abuse can drain our energy, making it difficult even to tend to our basic needs.
We may lack the energy to take a shower or brush our teeth. Yes, it sounds very unpleasant, but it’s true.
There is often a great deal of shame associated with hygiene when adults struggle with even the most fundamental self-care tasks.
The first step is to be kind to yourself. Imagine if you were severely injured; would you feel ashamed for not being able to perform basic tasks?
- Keep a chart to track basic activities like showering, brushing teeth, skincare, and haircare.
- Start small, focusing on one task at a time, and then gradually increase the frequency on a weekly basis.
- Try to make these habits more enjoyable. For instance, instead of a shower, consider taking a warm bath. A bath can provide a comforting sensation, instantly lifting your mood. You can also lie down instead of standing.
- Aim to complete them as quickly as possible; for example, spend just one minute or a few seconds brushing your teeth at least once a day. Remember that something is better than nothing. Similarly, when starting with skincare, you don’t need an elaborate routine. Applying sunscreen in the morning and washing your face at night is a good starting point.
12. Find your allies.
It is important to refine your social circle. Make sure to cut out all the narcissists and their enablers.
Surround yourself with people who have empathy. Talk to a dear friend at least once every two weeks. Join support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse.
Be very careful about the new people you let into your circle.
Try to have new experiences to replace old ones. This way, you can meet new people who share similar interests.
We hope that these tips can help you prioritize back your well-being.
