Narcissistic abuse affects your behavior, physical, cognitive, and emotional well-being, as well as your social life.
It can cause several mental health issues, sleep problems, or worsen pre-existing conditions. This can all lead to a lack of productivity and efficiency, especially in areas where the narcissists have shamed you the most.
You may feel more tired or depressed, and others may perceive it as laziness. Even you might think you are lazy. This can lead to even more guilt and grief.
Here are 10 step-by-step methods to regain your lost productivity and efficiency after narcissistic abuse.
1. Realization that you have a problem in functioning efficiently due to narcissistic abuse.
I felt ashamed to admit that the narcissists had succeeded in transforming me from an ‘A student’ to a ‘bad’ student. The trauma associated with learning science had led to a deep-rooted belief that I was not good in Science or smart.
Eventually, imposter syndrome took hold of me, and I genuinely believed I was an idiot. This significantly impacted my life and life choices for the next decade until I attended a healing program for narcissistic abuse.
I didn’t want to give the narcissists, who were no longer part of my life, so much power. Consequently, I avoided acknowledging that I was depressed, leading to a constant feeling of fatigue (which I mistakenly interpreted as laziness).
Your bandwidth to function decreases significantly, and it’s a side effect of narcissistic abuse that no one tells you about.
If you find it difficult to accomplish even normal daily tasks, pay attention to how you are feeling. Are you getting tired very easily?
If you continue without acknowledging the problem, you won’t be able to accomplish things that others your age find easy or normal. This, in turn, can leave you feeling more sad and guilty, and the vicious cycle never ends.
2. Observe your time utilization without judgment.
Self-compassion is key here. The purpose of this exercise is not to judge yourself.
Note how many hours/minutes you can study/work in a whole day.
When I started observing, I was self-employed, and I could hardly work 1-2 hours a day.
When I began the side hustle of blogging, I could only focus for 10-11 hours a whole month, which is barely 20 minutes a day.
Don’t shame yourself. More than enough people have done that to you already. Remember, we can always change for the better.
3. Note down the day-to-day activities that you find difficult to do.
Do you find it challenging to even brush your teeth or take a bath? Is your room messy? Do you brush your hair every day? Has your entire personal hygiene taken a hit? Can you not study or work for more extended periods?
Note everything down.
4. Ask for help.
If you have just discovered narcissism and its impact on your life, the next step is seeking help and trying to heal through therapy, healing programs, journaling, or joining support groups.
Be kind to yourself, and don’t hesitate to ask for help from empathetic individuals around you. It could be your siblings, parents, or friends.
If you find cleaning difficult, consider hiring someone to do the job if that is possible. If you find it challenging to brush your hair, ask someone if they mind helping you.
Try to practice self-compassion. Be patient and try not to worry too much about the future at this point.
Focus on your mental health and healing.
5. Start small, focusing on one task at a time.
Focus on one task at a time, and then gradually increase the frequency on a weekly basis.
First focus on things that can increase your energy levels-like sleep, exercise or nutrition.
6. Try to Develop a Sleep Routine.
Narcissistic abuse survivors often struggle with falling asleep, primarily due to rumination.
Bedtime is when all the negative emotions rush in simultaneously – guilt, shame, your mistakes, all the gaslighting, and name-calling.
To stop ruminating, plan your activities for the next day. Read a good book or develop a new creative habit, like knitting, stitching, painting, or drawing—activities that don’t involve electronic devices. Consider playing board games after dinner.
For more information on how to stop rumination, you can click here.
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- Try to avoid consuming news before bedtime.
- Create a bedtime ritual that includes activities such as showering, brushing your teeth, skincare, meditation, and reading a book.
- It’s also advisable to stop using electronic devices at least an hour before going to bed.
- Try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule and aim for at least 7-8 hours of sleep.
Try to incorporate good sleep hygiene practices into your life.
For more
http://www.sleepeducation.org/essentials-in-sleep/healthy-sleep-habits
7. Develop atleast one good eating habit in a week or month.
What you put inside your body affects your mood and energy levels too. Try to change one small thing at a time. Follow that small change until it becomes a habit and then incorporate another change.
Don’t try to change your entire lifestyle in one day. If you eat 2 servings of dessert every day, try to reduce it to 1. Practice that until it becomes a habit. Then incorporate a new change.
Try to take care of your daily macros and hydration.
Get basic healthcare evaluation done. Get at least one health checkup per year. Remember, health is wealth.
8. Start moving your body.
You don’t have to start with hardcore workouts. You can start by walking for 10 minutes every day or engaging in a quick 10-minute workout. Slowly you can increase the time of your workouts.
Besides improving your physical health, these activities can boost your mood, reduce anxiety and stress, and benefit your brain, particularly in terms of neuroplasticity.
9. Change your environment.
Your physical and social environment play a huge role in your mental health.
Change the place where you work or study. Create a relaxing study space, light some scented candles, and remove all unnecessary items from your desk. Consider doing the same for your bedroom.
If your workplace is toxic, try finding another job, even if it comes with a lower salary. Similarly, if your school or college is toxic, explore changing your educational environment.
Avoid people and places that drain your energy whenever possible.
Setting boundaries is a powerful act of self-respect and self-care.
You can read about Dealing with Narcissistic Relatives here.
10. Journal your progress.
Track your progress weekly or monthly. For example, monitor the number of hours you dedicate to work or study, track your sleep duration, and note any changes in your weight.
If you’re interested in creating a detailed bullet journal to track your progress, you can find more information in this article.
https://ungaslited.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-create-a-bullet-journal